“Lord, sometimes I hate free
will. Why can’t we just be good and loyal servants to You from beginning to
end? I know You created us to have free will but so many times, our free will
becomes an obstacle to reaching You. It is so hard to watch my own children
make a poor choice. I see where they are headed by making that choice and I
want to scream, ‘NO!’ but they do it anyway. I realize that You don’t want us
to be robots, preprogramed to do Your will; that is a dead empty way to live.
So I get it, when we choose one way or another, the choice gains life and
meaning, either good or bad. I think of the times my children randomly made a
good choice completely on their own and how happy it made me, whether it was
cleaning their rooms, helping me with chores or reaching out to someone in
need. When it comes from their own hearts, it somehow means more. It reveals an
act of love which becomes a thing of beauty.
“I can see now how free will is
so important to You for us. So how do I match my free will to You? By loving
You completely? If my heart and soul belong to You, then my mind and body
belong to You as well. When our hearts are joined in true love, then my will is
completely focused on pleasing You. My free will turns to You like a great ship
turning to its destination. The stronger my will is, the bigger the boat and
the harder to steer but when the compass points to You, the sails are let out,
the engines are put at full steam ahead and the ship sails straight to Your
heart. If I am the captain of my ship, I command all of it to head to You, my
Lord, my king, and that command is my choice freely given, a choice made out of
pure love for You.
“Okay, I guess I love free will
after all.”
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