Restore My Heart

“Oh dear Lord, my awesome creator, redeemer and great love, I humbly bow my head before You and offer You all of me. Sweep me up in Your loving embrace, hold my heart in Your Precious pierced hands and breathe over it and into it, Your holy breath of healing, strengthening and cleansing. Recreate in me the heart You first gave me at the moment of my conception. Clean off and repair this broken damaged heart of mine which I have subjected to so much abuse. Heal my scars, soften the tissue like a newborn babe. Only You can do this and I humbly and earnestly ask that You do.

                “Now place this restored heart back in place, and once more breathe Your holy breath into my heart and soul to ignite the embers of love into a bright burning fire, full of warmth, color and energy. Tend this fire so that it burns continually, bright and strong. May the bright light that emanates from this fire within me illuminate the way to the intense source of light in which You dwell. May the light within me shine out towards You, ever drawn to join with You, its’ very source. May our light join and burst into a blinding display of intense brightness where we both can dwell together, enveloped in the love You drew upon to create this whole world and everything in it, especially Your people.  May this love be the energy source that maintains this blinding light. Oh dear Lord, let everything around me and within me be full of this light for all eternity. Draw me into it, use all my inner senses to recognize You and this light in everything around me, illuminating the way to Your heart and into Your loving embrace.

                “Thank You dear Lord. I lift my head and draw my arms across my chest, pressing them against my renewed heart. I blink and blink, the tears of love magnifying Your bright light. Thank You dear Lord, my awesome creator, redeemer and great love.”

Prune My Heart and Soul

                “Eternal Father, I lift my heart and soul up to You in prayer today. Take my heart; my broken, bruised, scarred heart into Your pierced hands of mercy. May Your skilled hands of healing, grace and creation gently rub away all the damaged parts. Like a potter with clay, reform my heart and breathe in Your precious Holy Spirit so that my heart becomes smooth, supple, pristine and alive in You.

                “Prune my soul, removing anything that would block the connection of my heart to Yours. Prune away the dead branches, the withered leaves, the bitter mummified fruit that simply drains nourishment from Your life giving force. Prune me back severely, whether through trials and sufferings or through spiritual and mental enlightenment. Help me let go of all the extra unnecessary things to which I have attached myself. Let Your beautiful light shine on the rest of me. May Your loving light penetrate every inch of my body, my mind, my heart and soul. May Your light and the blood of Your heart curse throughout my entire being and may I thus produce the flowers and fruit You originally intended for me. May they be beautiful, fragrant and delicious to You.

                “Show me how to fertilize and cultivate myself with You and Your many gifts and graces. Make my roots go deep into You, drawing every life-giving breath deep into my very essence. Keep my heart and soul healthy and pure, and may I always willingly give them to You, no matter in what state they may be. I trust Your healing hands and humbly ask You to join my heart and soul to You.”

Contemplating the Mystery of the Eucharist

                “Dear precious Lord, I sit in awe contemplating the mystery of the Eucharist. I don’t fully understand it, but I know it is You and for this gift of faith, I thank You. When I remember that You created everything in all its complexities, then the mystery of Your presence in the Eucharist doesn’t seem so impossible.

                “Lord, I love the mass because You are right there, and You invite us to receive You so intimately, in communion. I remember the days I thought going to Church was a chore, an obligation. Now, I long for the opportunity to attend mass and when it is over, I look forward to the next mass. It is like eating – you get hungry, you eat a great meal and feel satisfied but you know that soon you will eat again and you look forward to the next meal. Lord You know us so well that You became our food, literally and spiritually, and we crave it, sometimes with a voracious appetite.

                “You ask so little of us – just a minimum of one hour a week to spend in mass with You. When I think about how a mass is celebrated every hour of every day, 24 hours a day, seven days a week throughout the entire world, I am in awe. Therefore, for that one hour, You have people gathered in love for You so that everywhere throughout the world, there is a place on earth that is a mirror of Your command in the Lord’s prayer, ‘thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.’ I feel privileged to attend mass and to be a part of just one hour of this act of worship in one tiny spot on this earth You created for us. I am eternally grateful to play a part in this beautiful act of worship throughout the world.

                “Oh dear Lord, inflame the desire in people’s hearts to celebrated mass with You. Create a deep hunger in all of us to crave the banquet of the Eucharist You provide at mass everywhere throughout the world. I pray that all Your people everywhere will join You in the precious communion You generously offer. Please open their hearts and minds to understand this gift and to receive it worthily. Dear Lord, I sit in awe contemplating the mystery and beauty of the Eucharist.”

I Am Here

                “Dear Lord, dear God, dear redeemer, my heart aches to be near You today. I am here, I am here, I am here. Look down upon Your humble daughter and with Your merciful heart, draw me close and let me rest in Your glorious embrace. You make me whole, You make me want to live, You make me walk through this life with a purpose.

                “I love symmetry and balance and the number three encompasses this concept very well which is why I am especially drawn to the Trinity. It is not just one part of You that I love and honor, but all three in one. Your genius surpasses my feeble understanding of how this can be but my heart fully accepts all three of You and bubbles up with great love for all of You.

                “Oh God the Father, I tremble in Your presence, in awe and fear of Your power. I avert my eyes yet still sneak a peek to witness Your glory. I know You love me, You created me, yet I wonder how You can love something so small and inferior to Yourself. I return Your love, humbly and gratefully, and kneel at Your throne submitting all that I am to You. My Lord, my God the Father, I am here.

                “Dear Jesus, the precious son of God, both human and divine, I run into Your arms, sobbing tears of love, joy and sadness as I long to be with You forever. You understand our flawed sinful hearts because You lived as one of us. You showed us how to live in pure love – love for Your Father and His will and love for one another because Your Father created each of us all and loves us. You encompass living and loving as one holy body. You are our head, guiding us, and we are Your body, attempting to conduct all that You wish. Everything You do is to honor and glorify Your Father and You show us how. We cling to You as Your body and try our best to move when and how You ask us to. Dear Jesus, You are my love, my life, my guide. You show us how to be the people Your Father created. I melt into Your arms, I rest my head on Your chest, I close my eyes as I feel Your breath on my face. Dear Lord, dear Jesus, I am here.

                “Oh God the Holy Spirit, the very breath and living force of love produced from God the Father and God the Son. You are the one I understand the least yet the one whose presence I sense the most. You are with me, in me, around me, like the very air we breathe. You permeate my very soul and sustain my life. You bring the Lord deep into my inner self and give life to all my thoughts and actions the way our blood brings nutrients to every part of our body enabling us to live, breathe, move, think and function. You, dear Holy Spirit, float in and around me in pure love, igniting all my actions and purpose for living with God’s holy flame of love. Oh Holy Spirit, I cannot live without You. I breathe You in deeply, not wanting to exhale. You are so precious to me. I am here, breathing.

                “Oh my Lord, my God, my merciful redeemer, let me always recognize all of You in everything around me. May I always honor, love, and worship You. May I always kneel humbly in Your glorious presence and breathe in Your loving life force. Oh Lord, I am here, I am here, I am here.”

Patience

                Patience. Everyone wants everything right now. In this modern world, people don’t even want to wait for a cup of coffee. People impatiently drive their cars into a line to receive a cup of fresh, instantly brewed coffee direct into their hands with which they can drink while driving to wherever they are going. They don’t even have to get out of their cars. If it takes too long according to them, they promptly express their displeasure to the poor soul who just prepared their coffee on the go.

                What happened to the days when sharing a cup of coffee was a relaxed event with no time limit? I realize there are people who will sit for lengthy times drinking coffee with others but it’s not the expected way any more. You have the option of driving up for your coffee and not talking to anyone and that is considered normal. Coffee used to percolate on the stove or on a campfire. I can still hear the bubbling rhythm of the coffee pot. It took time. And if you drank it alone, you took your time drinking it, at least as long as it took to brew it. Everyone is in a hurry to do a million things and to go to a million places - to do what? When Jesus was here on earth, the people were happy to sit and listen, all day if need be. Now, I hear, “I don’t have time for that.” “Daily mass is too long. I have things I need to do.” What could be more pressing than receiving our Lord and spending time in thanks with Him? People don’t seem to enjoy just receiving the gift of life God gave us.

                Patience. We need patience to listen to others. How often do people try to hurry up a conversation? “Just get to the point.” Did anyone say that to Jesus when He was telling a story? We need to remember that we are in a continual state of waiting, waiting for our Lord to return. It’s been over 2000 years, you would think we would be good at waiting and while we wait, why not enjoy the time we have with others? The Lord tells us we know not when He will come again - so we wait.

So wait patiently. Take note of the things around you as you wait; the people, the flowers, the trees, the smells, the animals – all His creations. He didn’t tell us to wait in a blank box. He gave us a whole world full of His rich handiwork to enjoy and appreciate. He didn’t tell us to race from here to there doing a million things, sometimes at the expense of others, ignoring and even plundering and devouring the things He created, even hurting the very people He made.

                Patience. We must wait patiently for His return and while we wait, why not enjoy and share the beautiful things He has given us? Good children wait patiently for their parents to return. It is so nice to see them happily playing with the toys their parents provided for them; to see them sharing with each other, laughing, building big towers and painting beautiful pictures. It brings a smile to the parents upon their return. No parent enjoys coming home to a room full of fighting children, angry and crying, broken toys strewn about, toppled towers and scribbled or crumpled up paintings. No parent wants to come home to chaos. Impatience breeds chaos; patience brings peace.

                Patience. Jesus was the embodiment of patience. He patiently instructed His people, even those who rejected Him. He could have annihilated everything but He didn’t. He chose a path of patient teaching and He asked us to patiently wait with love for His return, promising to take us with Him into eternal life. How do you want it to look when He returns? Will we be waiting patiently, happily playing, sharing and making beautiful things with His gifts or will we have succumbed to impatience, fighting in anger and chaos with His gifts strewn everywhere, broken and defiled?

Prayer Symphony

                “Lord, as I sit here surrounded by people praying to You, I am humbled at how You can sort out all the sounds. There are the voices of people praying the rosary in Spanish, the sound of elderly voices asking You for help, the sounds of people serving in the sacristy cleaning up from mass, the shifting of people’s weight kneeling in the pews praying silently, the whispers of people sitting in the pews quietly praying and the sound of my pen scribbling across the paper as I write these thoughts.

                “To me, it’s a jumbled array of sounds. To You, it’s a symphony of love expressed in so many different instruments. You are the conductor behind the altar in the Tabernacle. Your hand is raised and directs the rhythm of all our prayers and expressions of love for You. I wish I could hear it like You do. To me it sounds like an orchestra warming up, all disjointed. To You, it must be a masterpiece, a beautiful symphony with connected parts in a melody that moves the soul. Maybe in eternity, we will all hear and play in this wondrous prayer symphony.”

We are Called to Forgive

              “My dear Lord, so full of mercy and love, why do so many of us struggle with the concept of forgiveness? To forgive is at the very core of Christianity. Your death on the cross and Your resurrection was for the forgiveness of all our sins, once and for all, so that we could receive Your great mercy and grace, allowing us ultimately to be with You in eternity. You gave us everything - the life of Your beloved son, to forgive us for every transgression, from tiny infractions to major heinous crimes. Dear Lord, Your mercy is so great, like the vast oceans that cover the great earth You created. I am humbled and eternally grateful.

                “Why then do so many people hold on to the hurt, pain, anger and frustration that go hand in hand with an unforgiven offense? Lord, help us remember that when You forgive us, it is complete and unconditional. If we cannot pass that favor on to our brothers and sisters everywhere of whom You have instructed us to love dearly, we are saying no to You and no to Your forgiveness for us. The Lord’s prayer says, ‘…Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass against us…’ Our forgiveness must mirror Yours or else we are telling You not to forgive us completely. Isn’t the horrible crucifixion of You dear Jesus on the cross enough to pay for that person’s sin? You shed Your precious blood and sacrificed Your life to forgive everyone for everything. What more can possibly be done to let this person be forgiven? When we refuse to forgive, our self love and pride take over saying ‘I deserve more, no one can treat me like that and nothing that anyone can do is enough to satisfy my sense of justice.’  

“God, You created every living person and You want to dwell within everyone. Can we really step into the role of judge and decide that that person is not worthy of love when You have already claimed him and You want to dwell inside him as well? The person may be confused, struggling with their own issues, learning and transforming themselves, though not always very well. But Lord, You want all of us and You have a plan for each and every one of us. We are all on a journey of self exploration and transformation. If I can’t forgive someone because they messed up, am I telling You Lord not to forgive me when I mess up? I think back on my life and I cringe at all the stupid things I have said and done, the people I hurt, the careless disregard I showed at times and I am so grateful that those ridiculous transgressions have been forgiven by You dear Lord who contains all power, authority and justice. If some of the people I hurt along the way have also forgiven me, then I am doubly blessed and filled with a sense of relief and gratitude. I believe in heaven and eternal life and I believe that all anger, hurt, pain and disgust will not exist there. Why can’t it also begin here on earth? ‘…Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth and it is in heaven…’ Isn’t this the prayer You taught us when the early disciples first asked You to teach them how to pray?

“By holding on to a grudge, we also let our pride swell up inside us, implying that we know something more about the situation or the person than You, the very One who created everything. How can we possibly know the whole story? Everyone has a history and a series of events that shapes us and oftentimes, influences our behaviors. Many times, people are more understanding if they know the background or where that person came from. Only You Lord, know everyone’s true story so we need to trust your judgment which always has forgiveness as its end. When we refuse to forgive, it’s as if we are saying, ‘Fine, You can forgive him if You like Lord. Sacrifice Your Son for him and his offense, but that is not enough for me. I don’t care about the whole story. I cannot forgive that person. That person hurt me beyond repair.’ This also shows a lack of confidence and faith in Your healing power. You can heal and turn the hardest of hearts if only we ask You to do so.

 “Is that offense we find so hard to forgive really worth saying no to You God? When we can’t forgive, when we say no to You Lord, we are not allowing You to dwell within us. When we don’t allow You Lord within us, we lose our joy, our peace, and our love and we replace these with anger, chaos, frustration, hurt and pain. We are not at peace and we become consumed with ourselves and how we feel. This feeds our pride and our self love and we lose our vision of God within us, the way the stain of breath disappears on a mirror and we are left only looking at ourselves.

“We also bind ourselves to the person we can’t forgive. That person may not even realize how hurt we are and he or she may have moved on without a passing thought of us. Yet we remain tied to that person through our lack of forgiveness. Our thoughts and feelings dwell on them and we can become consumed with misery over this person. Forgiveness cuts those binds like scissors and frees us from all the anger, hurt and frustration. Dear Lord, give me the grace to pick up the scissors and cut those bonds. Free me through Your love.

“Lord, help us remember that as Christians, we are called to imitate Christ in all situations, as best as we can, and though we are not perfect like Him, we are asked to try. Help us also remember how Your perfect Son, who was completely without sin, was unmercifully persecuted, condemned, beaten, mocked, humiliated, and cruelly murdered for doing absolutely nothing more than loving us and offering a way to eternal happiness. When we can’t forgive someone, stop and think about it. Was that person’s offense and our subsequent hurt feelings or anger anything compared to Jesus’ persecution? Maybe it was. Maybe there were horrific consequences, but then remember Jesus. How did He treat His persecutors? He forgave them while He died on the cross. Are we so much better that we can’t forgive?

 “Lord, I welcome the opportunity to show mercy to others because it is what You do for all of us. If someone offends me, I take it as a chance to grow and a test of how much I have learned of Your mercy. When I feel that tinge of anger swell up inside me toward someone, I will stop and think about how insignificant the issue really is compared to some of the awful tragedies that occur throughout the world. I pray especially for those people who are really hurt by others through the murder of a loved one or a senseless hate crime. To forgive a delusional murderer or a terrorist is a huge test of mercy. I think those who are asked to forgive in these situations are truly asked to imitate Christ and I see them as saints and I hope to try to be like them. When they forgive, they are truly imitating You dear Lord.

 “Lord, I pray for mercy and I pray for the grace of forgiveness. I pray that I can always see the beautiful soul You placed inside everyone, no matter how lost or confused they might be on their journey. You never turned Your back on me or denied me forgiveness, may I never turn my back on anyone or deny them forgiveness either, ‘…on earth as it is in heaven.’”