I Ask to be One with You

                “Dear Lord, my heart longs to be one with You, yet You are my Lord, my King, my Creator; how can I dare to ask such a thing of one so great? Why do I ask for this favor? Not because I want to be great like You or to have honor or glory; it is none of that. I ask for it because I love You with all my heart and soul and being. I love You so much that I want to melt into You. I want to place my hands on Yours, palm to palm and close our fingers intertwined into each other. I want to flow through the wounds on Your hands, melting into them like water flowing through a drain. I love You so much that I want to give You all of me by melting myself into Your body.

                “I don’t care about worldly possessions; they are just things, just stuff and I don’t need any of it. I do care about experiences but only in the context of how they brought me closer to You. Some are pleasant and some are unpleasant, but if they turned me to You, then they are precious to me and I wish to give those to You through my memories. The experiences that kept me from You I only cherish if they strengthened my resolve to return to You and I know that You allowed them to occur for that purpose. The useless experiences that were just passing moments, I can leave behind because they were just passing moments like a blink. There are people I care about because You placed them in my life as part of my journey to You. There are others I love because they are precious to You. Can we bring them all into You? I don’t want to leave anyone behind.

                “I want to be one with You because separated from You, I feel a great void within me. I feel like a droplet of Your blood that has bled out and will dry up if it is not returned to Your body. I also want to be one with You because You are all good and all love. My whole life, I have sought for goodness and desperately searched for love, sometimes in very unlikely and ridiculous ways and in all the wrong places and people. I long for love – deep, true, honest, penetrating love and You are the source of all love so to You I flee. To love and to be loved is why I was created. I have wallowed in evil, bathed in hate, wandered in despair, sank into loneliness and clothed myself in numbness. I never want to return to any of those.

                “So humbly, yet with determination, I ask to be one with You. Lord, I long to melt into the original source of all goodness and love, like a parched wanderer in the desert, kneeling at a spring of fresh, clear, cool water. I dip my hands into the water, close my eyes and melt.”